Our condo is furnished like an Ikea catalog, punctuated by accents of Kijiji chic.
Some highlights include the ubiquitous NOT lamp in duplicate, the POANG chair which was secured after clearing out an old lady’s entire basement, the LACK side table which was 4.99 on sale, and the DRACAENA MARGINATA potted plant, which I acquired from an office fundraiser. We have a fireplace television stand from folks who were redecorating their home and a framed print of Solitude by David Lorenz Winston.
Every now and then, I’d get the itch to upgrade our dorm room furniture. I’d watched too many episodes of HGTV, and became convinced that we needed to Marie Kondo the stuff from our bachelor days to fit our new lifestyle!
For example, I had one bedside table before Nick moved in with me. Now, we still only have one beside table, but I’m no longer on the side of the bed that can access it! Similarly, I purchased a small decorative desk from Canadian Tire in the pre-Nick era to create an office corner for myself. When we merged our lives, Nick discovered that the desk was much too low for his knees to fit underneath. Apparently, Canadian Tire did not know how to design furniture for tall people.
And so, armed with a fresh wave of confidence and inspiration, I approached Nick with my vision for a new calm and functional bedroom. It was going to be clean, cozy, and elegant. I had drunken the redecoration kool-aid and thought that it was going to be fabulous and a piece of cake. Maybe even a fabulous piece of cake.
In reality, when we started browsing around to see what was available, we noticed that it was challenging to match the Ikea aesthetic with anything that was more durable than medium density fibreboard. Should we get a bedframe now to match the side tables that we were looking at, or wait until we got a larger bed? But if we got a larger bed now, wouldn’t it take over the space occupied by our current office corner, and if so, where would we put our computer chargers? The rabbit hole got deeper and deeper.
The enthusiasm eventually tapered off, as we couldn’t solve where we would put all of the old furniture that we weren’t quite ready to part with yet. Right now, they were in the way. But if we ever moved, then it’s possible that they would come in handy again. I guess what that makes me is a furniture hoarding minimalist killjoy.
My late grandma would have been proud.